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chicken
November 2009 
Funny! - why did the chicken cross the road?
Posted on Sep 30th, 2008
by 
mimi
mimi
I couldn't help but laugh at this one - very creative and funny. Hope you get a giggle too.
This might be an old one, but it is the first time I have seen this one
====================================================
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the Chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the Chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
This might be an old one, but it is the first time I have seen this one
====================================================
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the Chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the Chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Access: Public
I don't give a cluck, that is hilarious, mimi!!!
And what came first, the chicken or the egg?
This is GREAT….I think I saw something like this before, but maybe it's been updated w the current political field. (Obama's my kind of chicken lover!) Thanks, Mimi.
yeah, this chicken wants some change too … I like John Lennon's too. yup.
thanks mimi! This is good feed! ((chicken feed that is!!!))
these are good - yes, Kathy, I know what you mean, for example Why did the chicken cross the road?or
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road
the picky English teacher part of me always wonders why the chicken is referred to as he! :)
that is clucking hilarious! I think Grandpa has the best answer.
Hey Everyone ===Big Group((((hug)))
thanks for stopping by.
We all need a chuckle, chortle, giggle in these troubled times. How much is a Trillion?
Thank goodness I don't have a stock portfolio, bonds, money market stuff whatever.
I have 8 rolls of pennies done, and more to roll up. WhoooHOO! (and $160 stashed in my make-up bag)
Hey Nicole,
thanks so much for those 2 links, They are fab-you-lous!
Who thinks up this stuff?
I want to thank them. WhoooHoooo!
Hi Mimi:
Thanks for the good chuckle I got from this today! BTW - chickens can be “He's” or “She's”, the former is a “rooster” and the latter is a “hen”.
As for everyone's “nest eggs” that got shook up yesterday pretty bad - just keep 'em warm - they'll eventually recover the banging about they got yesterday. I think GWB actually made things worse by over-playing his Chicken Little part on this so-called bail-out. Which is exactly what he (and a lot of his rich cronies) wanted it to do. Why do you think that over half of the Republicans refused to pass the bail-out? Just waiting for ACT III now!
Hugs,
Gem ~~^v^~~
he he.. soo very funny! thanks for a great laugh mimi.. now, why am I suddenly thinking that some folks do come across as headless chickens running about? ;-)
hahahahaha that was so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks, Mimi. We all can use a good laugh these days.
Here are a couple of non-political chicken jokes:
Why did the chicken cross the internet? It wanted to get to the other site.
What is Superchicken's real identity? Cluck Kent.
How do chickens dance? Chick to chick.
Hey Peace,
I love the chicken jokes! Maybe this will start a flurry of chicken jokes, though I can't think of single one at the moment.
Gemstar, loved your comments, especially bashing ole dubya and his gang of thugs..
LOL LOL LOL!!!
Love this updated and current version!
Goooood One!~~<3
Excellent! I've got to inject some Canadian content into this …
Why did the chicken cross the road, according to Canada's poltical leaders …
Stephen Harper … Because I gave him permission.
Stephane Dion - Because da grass was greener on the udder side.
Jack Layton - Heck! He crossed the road to join the only viable alternative - the NDP!
Gilles Duceppe - Il a traverse la rue, parce qu'il a le droit!
Elizabeth May - Natually, he was reducing his “carbon foot-print.”
WhooHoo Otter,
I love this Canadian slant on la poule or is it le poule? I left High school French in 1959. Yikes!almost 50 years has passed?! ;>(
Nice to see Elizabeth May included in the debates. She is articulate, highly intelligent and well versed on the issues and . She has substance for sure! I was impressed seeing her interviewed on CBC Newsworld last night.