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corporal punishment
July 2009 
Shaving & Corporal Punishment 1950 style
mimi
When I was a kid, "getting a strap" at home was a common thing. At school, you would "get THE strap".
Every teacher had a big leather strap in their desk. I remember going up to the teacher's desk where she kept the Pink Pearl erasers.- a whole one cost 5 cents, but the teachers would cut them in half. Some kids parents bought a whole one for their kid.
When she opened the drawer, I saw the big strap right there handy in the top drawer.
When a boy misbehaved, the teacher would make him come to the front of the class, stick out his hand, palm up, and she would whack him several times, depending on his crime. The girls were never strapped in front of the class; they had to go to the principal's office. Sometimes, instead of the strap, you'd have to sit in the corner, facing the wall. I remember Raymond Morris getting caught chewing gum in Grade 4. The teacher made him stand in front of the class for the whole morning, with the gum on the end of his nose.
At home, any man who shaved had a leather STROP,straight razor, and a honing stone.
The strop hung on the wall, in the kitchen, until bathrooms were built INSIDE...The strop also served as A/The Strap. My Dad usually preferred to use his hand to spank us.
Whe were still little girls, me about 6 and my sister 10 , we'd get strapped together. When my Dad spanked my sister, she would never make a sound as he hollered, "have you had enough yet, have you had enough" until his hand got sore. Then in his weakened condition, I would get it, and I would holler right away.
We usually got a "licking" because we were giggling past bedtime. My sister and I shared a 3/4 bed in a tiny room. We had a single large pillow. We'd sing and giggle in bed, and sometimes play "Amusement Park"on the slippery gold and purple reversible comforter.
Roller Coaster was a favourite = My sister being 4 years older would always be The Ride and I would be the rider. Somehow, even though Dad was in the basement sawing boards on his circular saw, he could hear our giggles. After a few warnings, we would hear him coming for us, his Frankenstein feet clumping up each stair, and then the door would burst open. One time, my sister pushed the cardboard wardrobe up against the door, so my dad came through the wall --it was actually a cardboard panel that separated our bedroom from his. That was truly frightening.
My Dad never used The Strop on us, but once used the cord from the iron to hit my sister across the back of legs for talking back to my Mom. My friend Nancy used to get hit with the wooden spoon. I swore if I ever had kids, I would never hit them. And I didn't.
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While it's a scary memory, you told this story well. That “strap” is a scary thing and I can hear the sound of the giggles and imagine the fear of your father's wrath. What a shame that he chose to do what he did…
…And good for you for not hitting your kids! As much as I find many of today's kids irritating (for a variety of reasons) and sometimes remark about what I would do if I had any, I personally don't think hitting them is right. Setting boundaries, having structure and rules and using some diiscipline (by taking away privileges, etc.) is one thing, but physically (and/or verbally) causing pain to create fear (which often results in anxiety/shame/etc.) is simply wrong and just shouldn't happen.
Thanks for sharing this.
I can only remember getting hit with a strap a couple of times…. and the…my mother one time hit me with a broom…and my father one time punched me in the face. I have no mental scars from my childhood. I understood what caused the provocations…and moved on. I yell alot when angry…get over it quickly…and don't spank.
maze,
thanks for sharing your memories too - I had forgot about the broom. Brooms were big, but didn't hurt if you got hit with the soft end. I forgot to mention fly swatters. Many friends got THE BELT - freshly ripped out of the pant belt loops. The sound of a belt with a metal buckle still takes me back to “strap” days.
Like you, I have no mental scars about my childhood - most of it was idyllic with lots of friends, surrounded by nature in every form, in small town community. My Dad and I had a fabulous loving relationship for the last 20 years of his life.
Thanks Morningstar for dropping by and taking time to comment. As you mentioned, physical and verbal abuse are very damaging. There is emotional abuse also - by itself, or as another consequence.
I have heard several children talk about their fear when their fathers holler at them or come at them. raging. The kids are so wounded - you can see it in their eyes, and in their body language as they talk about it. Inflicting physical pain on others to get them to do or say what you want is inexcusable - and downright cruel.
Well, gee, hopefully the growing consensus that violence isn't the best method for discipline of kids will indicate to us that, as a society, as a group, we are getting less violent. That is to say, our norm of what's “too violent” is migrating toward less intentional infliction of pain.
What IS violence? There's just a big, empty space for me when I ask that question. There's all types of phsycial infliction of pain, and all types of mental INTENTION to inflict physical pain, to “teach them a lesson they won't forget.” (The lesson being that stronger people get really pissed when inconvenienced by the agenda of weaker people, and the stronger are therefore justified in acting out their frustration upon the weaker.) But if I think to myself, “Those damn kids can do whatever the fuck they are going to do after school. I have to work, and they can't expect me to care about that,” is THAT violence?
I guess the positive practice and expression of LOVE is so simple, and identifiable, compared to the universe of negativity, fear and neglect, of which violence is an active expression…
Your sister's spirit is very cool! I'm glad you had her to stand up to your father's anger with you. What a wonderful gift.
Mimi, your sister's spirit reminds me of my brother…he got the worst punishment because my father had issues…his son was just like him and he didn't like to see it reflected back at him. BUT my brother would Laugh when my dad hit him with the belt. I thought this was faaaaabulous :-D Way to go, bro :-D
Same brother would get my mom laughing and she would forget about smacking him. Lucky booger, it didn't work for me, but luckily she picked up stupid things to hit me with like a very flexible and cheap spatula, LOL.
It is a cycle that must be broken, and I commend each one of you who broke that cycle with your own children. The war and violence must stop in the home first and foremost.